It Seemed Easy.....

Everyone who knows me knows I've been wanting to have a baby since I turned 28. It seemed so easy and romantic to have a baby. Well, it's been anything but easy or romantic since I actually became pregnant. I guess it's a different experience for every woman.

Another Miscarriage Scare

Well when we were between 3 and 6 weeks, our Doc said we may be miscarrying because we had some light bleeding.

Last Fri morning, I awakened at 2 am to find that I'd bleed on our sheets. I showered and changed and of course, told Moe. At 5 am I was so uncomfortable in my sleep I awakened again only to find that I was still bleeding. Panicked I called my Mom and she said "Go to ER right now." Moe and I went to Long Beach Memorial.

Only when I filled out the medical intake form did I break down in cry. Just to write "threatening miscarriage" broke my heart. Mos was right there with me. He must have kissed my neck a thousand times sitting in that lobby. Soon we had an ultrasound and the baby's heart showed up right away. We were totally relieved. We were all a-giggle when we saw how big the baby has grown in just under a month!

Then we went back to the waiting room where we thought we were just waiting for discharge papers but then we were admitted and given a bed. The Doc went over my labs which were good but then I had a pelvic exam. The bleeding continued right through our stay at the hospital and was confirmed by the pelvic exam. Doc says in these situations it's a 50/50 call whether or not I'll miscarry. He said "let's just hope the bleeding stops." That upset Mos.

Well, he put me on bed rest and that's where I am at home and I've been here since Fri. Mos and my little Sis are taking good care of me. My Mom calls to check on my several times a day. My good friend and neighbor tried to come see about me this weekend. I appreciate everyone's prayers, love and concern. My TA is holding down the fort for me at work. Praise God for her. The bleeding has come and gone all weekend. I'm still waiting for one whole dry day since Fri. I just go from the bed to the coach.

Tomorrow I see my OB-GYN and see what he says. I want to go back to work next week for sure but not if it's going to jeopardize the baby.

Belly Fat

I feel SOOOOO heavy in my mid-section. I don't like this feeling. I feel like I have a steel bell strapped to my mid section and I'm only three months! God help me.

What A Ride!

Last week, I could not get not one good night's rest to save my life. I went to bed between 7 and 8 pm trying to acocunt for the many hours I know I'd be up throughout the night-still did not work. I woke up last week Sun-Thurs night at midnight, 1, 4, and 5 am only to get up (for real) at 5:45 am. But I made it through that week. I was simply determined not to use any sick time.
So this week, I slept well during the weekend and Sun night I had so much dread and anxiety that this week would be sleepless and crabby too that I literally could not sleep-so I sat up. Essence stayed the night Sun and that helped distract me from freakin' out about not being able to sleep, my drive, the work week, etc. So I accidentally stayed up until my eyes burned. I figured if I lie down I can't rest anyway. But, what a miracle, I slept basically through the night (save for the restroom visits). I guess because I was exhuasted. Last week I lied down only for my mind to perk about and start thinking about everything under the sun. This week my body has won the battle for sleep. So far this week I've been able to survive off a nap when I get home, then I stay up until I'm exhausted and then when I go to sleep I seem to be sleeping through the night!

Noooooooo!!!!

The unthinkable has happened. I think I feel a stretch mark on my precious and oh-so beautiful belly!!!!!!!

Labor Day Weekend

We had a great weekend. Yestderday our families came over. Thank you Tonya for getting our hous eready for company. Kudos to Moses because we all ate some of everything under the sun! Mos grilled shrimp skewers and fish for our resident vegetarian: Coco (and I because I like shrimp so much.) He BBQ'd chicken, carne asada, hamburgers, links, and hot dogs! I ran one errand and rested :-). Celeste cooked the mac n cheese. My Mom cleaned up the entire kitchen after everything was cooked. Thank you family. Sweet little Essence came over to stay in the cutest little summer dress. Actually I could wear the dress Nia had on. These kids have better clothes than working people!!! :-) Ms Pam did not know Mos (her son) could get done in the kitchen! I knew. That's why I keep riding him to cook all the time. Mos likes to feed the people he cares about so he does not like that I can't take down the portions he gives me anymore. With this pregnancy it seems I have to eat small meals frequently because food sits in my throat for a LONG time and I do NOT want to throw up. Poor thing, he thinks I don't like the food. I love it. I just can't eat like I used to. We all had an awesome time. We missed Christie and ZZ.

Dream No. 1

Before I was told that I was pregnant, I had more of a vision, not really a dream. I saw this fat (or plump) baby's side profile. He was sitting up and had his head turned towards me. He was looking at me kind of over his shoulder.
I just dismissed the dream because I've been wanting and talking about wanting a child since I was 28 and nothing happened. Also, I just did not want to get my hopes up esp after all the bad news I got in June about the cysts and fibroids so I dismissed the dream as wishful thinking.