Mon. Aug. 31, 2009

Thank you Celeste from cooking and shampooing my hair last night. Moses and I BOTH appreciate the vittles! Sun. I attempted to clean and organize the whole house because Sat. I spent some time in Coco's (little sis) house and I was inspired. Everything in her house is so neat and orderly. Well, the undertaking was too much. With all the cold water I drank (it was HOT) and naps I took while cleaning, I managed to wash everything but put nothing away. We'll see how much Mos puts away this week!?!?!

This work day is over. The morning was rough but what morning is not rough now...the rest of the day went smoothly and now, after an hour of L.A. traffic, I'll be home on my comfy couch..complaining to poor Mos about something. :-) {I'm just having fun with this pregnancy that's all.....:-) :-)

Thurs. Aug. 27

I went for a walk with my little sister and she tough talked me about being so mean to Mos. I told her how I feel so cranky and umcomfortable and mad at him all the time. I tried to explain that based on what I've read on the net, it's perfectly normal to hate the cause of your pregnancy i.e. the man! :-) She did not buy it.

She said I better behave so my child won't come her cranky, moody and irritable. She reminded me that you catch more bees with honey. I was so mad at him Wed. for going swimming because I was (and have been) stuck in bed. I seem to be able to stay awake for 5 hours at a time-max. That's actually an increase over the first 3-6 weeks of this pregnancy. We use to do all kinds of fun stuff together...but these past two months I just have not had the energy or desire to do much more than go to work and thankfully get back home.
Well since Thurs night...I've been making a conscious effort to be nicer...and lo and behold...the old loving Mos has reappeared. I think it helped for him to hear from the Doc Fri that I am not being entirely dramatic (although I am Golden Globe worthy in my whining and complaining:-)). Doc says I should get my energy back around week 16. He says rest, relax and not to worry about what I can't get done right now.

Post Doc Update

Fri. Mos and I went to the Doctor. Through an ultrasound we saw the baby. Mos says his head looks big. :-) The baby was moving around on the screen! That 'ol ugly fibroid showed up but the baby seems safely cocooned in its own little space which we're very happy about. Mos and I were so excited to actually see the baby!

Mos was so cute he had all these questions for the Doc. He mainly wanted to know how to make me normal or comfortable again. :-) Mos was concerned that I might be dehydrated. Then he worried about my sleep being broken from using the restroom so often. Then he was worried about my nausea. Doc basically said that as long as I am going through the symptoms, however uncomfortable, of pregnancy-the pregnancy is on track. He said I need to worry if I start to feel normal because then my body is not doing what it needs to do to prepare for this baby. Makes sense. Mos is so cute. He just wants to fix everything for me.

Doc says the hormones that are allowing my uterus to expand are making me sleepy. He also says there may be some cramping because the uterus is trying to expand but the fibroid is trying to push the baby out. We just have to deal with that pain. Looking at our ultrasound print out...I feel energized all over again to get through the painful parts.

Doc Appt Tomorrow

Tomorrow I see the Doc. I'm anxious to get more news about the babies' progress. He seems so quiet inside my tummy. I only know he's there because of the ancillary physical effects of pregnancy.

Ice Cream

Last night Mos bought me some Ben & Jerry's Pistachio Pistachio which I simply adore but boy did I pay for eating that! My stomache was churning and flipping all night and morning long. I won't be eating THAT again anytime soon. I tell you.....stuff I used to love and have no problem eating just won't go down these days.

Can I get some assistance please?

Somebody please explain to me how a grown man can NOT understand that a pregnant woman is TIRED! Is not it enough that women work, raise kids, entertain, maintain, sustain, retain (:-) you get my point). We can't even get a 9 month pass? Not even once for our first child? This man over here...has an attitude because I ask him to move his car at 6:13 a.m.(We have tandem parking.) knowing full well that I have to walk out the door no later than 6:20 a.m. I have to take three freeways to get to work. 45 min to work is a relief. On the way home I sit in 0-20 mph traffic in the heat for a hour and 20 minutes! Without being pregnant I think my commute justifies some level of consideration....but not over here.
His chief complaint is that I wake him up. SO WHAT?! I might lay down at 7 or 8 pm but I'm not getting good sleep. I'm up going to the bathroom, tossing, turning, sweating, and thinking all night. That's worse than if I'd just stay up until the a.m. -I think.
He, on the other hand, just has to get up at 6 to move his car and if he wants to, he can go back to bed all day long. Why? Because he's been laid off. Yay for him. I have to, or rather I choose to, haul my hips into work no matter how tired, cranky or irritated I am because I'm saving all my sick time for when I absolutely need it.
What he should do is pop up happy and ask me "how can I help you get out of the house on time?" That version of him makes only rare appearances. He used to pack me a lunch. What happened to that? Then he did not want to wake up early so he would bring me lunch. What happened to that?
And folks wonder why I treat them the way I treat them......

Pray for my mate....

First of all let me say my Hon is a decent man. Yes, he procrastinates (among other things), and does not move nearly as quickly as I think he should BUT...he's a decent man. Well, let me say it right now, I can't be responsible for what I FEEL and therefore SAY while the various hormones are sabotaging my sanity during this pregnancy. Understood? Well, good.
I hate my man right now. I hate him everytime I feel stuffed, hot, uncomfortable, bloated, or when I feel the constant urges to urinate. I hate even more when I see him resting peacefully. I wish I had the guts to throw cold water on him so he can be uncomfortable TOO! I despise his sound sleep when I'm getting up and down all night long.
Y'all are going to have to pray for my soul during this pregnancy because I feel all kinds of unGodly urges surging through me and sadly they're only directed at Mos. Poor man.
The other day we were going somewhere and out of no where I just had the strongest urge to push him in his chest. He was not even doing anything !!!! He just laughed because he can't believe how strange (to put it nicely) I've become. Everything he does irritates me and yet I don't want him to NOT be around.I'm so uncomfortable and irritable all the time. Am I wrong?
He's NEVER going to have another child with me. Lol
Writing this in a sane moment is so funny (and sad) that I'm laughing so hard I'm in tears. I wish I knew this was part of pregnancy. I truly did not know that pregnancy involved your mental state too! I know, I'm supposedly so smart but nothing has prepared me for the past 8 weeks. I'm sure Mos feels the same way.

We're praying for.....

We're praying for a little boy.

Bathroom Runs

All my exercise seems to come from running to the restroom all day and all night! Maybe I can move a cot into the bathroom and save myself the walk. Ha ha

Energy

I have none. That's what I have to say about the topic of energy. I feel like someone has insidiously snuck a tiny tube in my navel and they're slowly draining the life force out of me. All my will power, perfectionist ways (It takes a ton of energy to be a perfectionist-I'm just now realizing! :-)), and normal everyday drive to "be productive" is just not happening. I'm not ashamed to admit that a month ago I did not shampoo my hair for 2 weeks! Sorry Moses. I just could not being myself to fight with this mop top I call hair. I can't do anything but drag myself into work, make the two huor drive to and from and drop on the coach when I get home. Moses is sick of me not doing anything but he does not understand how drained I am. I guess my telling him that I SHOULD not have to do anything does not help convince him to do more to compensate for what I'm not doing. I give up. I'm just not going to do anything and if stuff does not get done-oh well.

Food

I'm sick of eating. The first several weeks I kept having the shakes, having heat waves, yet feeling the chills, and feeling so weak like I could not even get out of bed and walk to the kitchen. I figured out that I was not eating nearly enough nor often enough. So now I try to eat every 3-4 hours. Eating this often keeps the "shakes" and sweats at bay but I feel so full! I only eat a little bit each time I eat because my stomache feels so full all the time (except when I'm starving just the top of my stomache feels empty). I hate the foods I used to love: burgers, cheesy things, fried foods, and soda! Uuggh. I crave salad and vegetables. What?!?! I hate the thought of sweets which I used to adore. And like I said, instead of wanting to eat for two, I'm tired of eating so often. The act of getting food, eating it, sitting up waiting for it to digest-is soooo exhausting. I just want to lay down-all the time! :-)

First 8 weeks update

According to ParentsConnect, this is the time to start journaling about my pregnancy. Apparently, I'll forget about the pregnancy once I have the baby. Every woman I know whose had a child DID become insanely forgetful after the birth of their child. I hope I don't become forgetful. I use my short term memory to recall an insane amount of details.

Anyway, today I'm feeling pretty good. I'm working on making sure I stay relaxed, comfortable and pleasant in my spirit. That means not fussing, and letting other folks actions get my pressure up. That's hard to do but the health of this baby is well worth the effort.

The first several weeks of this pregnancy were hellish! I was so tired. I slept all the time but could not get any rest! I spent all night tossing and turning or running to and from the bathroom! I woke up more exhausted than when I first laid down! And, boy was my attitude FOUL! I think I went crazy from lack of sleep!

We got over out initial emotional rollercoaster of being told we were probably miscarrying in our 3-4th week. That light pink spotting has stopped about 1-2 weeks ago. And after that miscarriage conversation, I went back to the Doc and the baby's heart beat showed up! Pregnancy on!

I'm not sleeping from 4-5 am like I was the first 3-4 weeks but I'm not nearly as productive as I usually am. I just watch the Golden Girls until 7 or 8 and then go to bed. I know Moses is waiting for the old Carmen to come back-the one that gets stuff down. Now he's living with another version of himself. I don't think he likes it! lol